I hope you had a good dream
and you sleep well, wherever you are going now.
The artist, the father, brother and husband you had been
There are parts of your energy in me somehow.
We talked on the phone 5 hours before you passed away
I felt that I need to talk to you
but still it was very hard to say
all the things I wanted to.
You left with fight and pain
you suffered too long my friend
but the moment when I see you again
we’ll know that death is not the end.
Goodbye dad.
It was a wild year for me, so I decided to spend some time at my parent’s home where I grew up and have some lovely memories. It also was like time travelling watching old videotapes from events 10-16 years ago… just right now when I turn 30 today. So after nearly 7-8 years it was good to celebrate my birthday just in a small circle… with my family. I also really enjoy seeing my nephew Danny to grow up so fast. He really changes the life of everyone in my family, escpecially my brother Nam (his father).
My real father is still in hospital waiting for a chance for a heart surgery. My stephfather actually survived the cancer, he just came back from hospital… my mom spent several weeks alone at home, my brothers are working night and day, just like me. It must be this way that I stop partying around and just receive bday-wishes via phone calls. I don’t know how long can I count on this secure and warm base that’s called family, that has always given me the neccessary security and timeless love and peace I need. Things are like they haven’t changed in a century… but now something happens. And when it happens, it goes wild and fast and it’s difficult to hold on everything. But now I know that I am a family man.
- my nephew Danny and my Mom –
– one of the best german meals - handmade “Thüringer Klöße mit Rindsrouladen” 
- YuMMY -
– see you next time –
I’ve shot over 5000 pictures in the last 6 months - digital stuff made it possible. As I had a look at them I felt sad, coz’ they just stick somewhere in my brain and in my computer. only I could see them… why shouldn’t I tell the world, that they exist? why not?.. they tell my story, things I see, what happens right now in my life…
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“She asked me to break the disctance… but why should i break her safety shield?”
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that’s my little nephew Danny.. just at that moment he didn’t want to swallow his food …
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my cat loves when mom is cutting fresh meat
see more pictures after the break
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My own Fourtet Remix with Bourne Identity and Arjuna. Pieces of memories…
Schlaflos, geisternd durch die Nacht
Stück für Stück, Brocken für Brocken
Es wollte gezeigt werden, will gesehen werden
Will mich aus der Realität in die Traumwelt locken
_
Wie könnte ich diese Geschichte bloß erzählen, dass sie irgendwie Sinn macht?
Die Gedanken kreisen um sorgenvolle Themen, Mystik, Esoterik, Fragen… ja vor allem Fragen. Fragen wie:
“Wie konnte das passieren?” - “Warum passiert das?” - “Was macht es mit mir? Und vor allem, was passiert nun mit meiner Familie?”
Als letzten Freitag mich meine Mom gegen 10:30 Uhr telefonisch erreichte, stand die Welt für eine Weile still. Die ersten Sekunden hämmerten auf die Augen, das Gehirn war überfordert. Danach vergingen schwermütige Augenblicke, Wortwechsel folgten, um es irgendwie realisieren zu können. Wie konnte ein aktiver 68 Jähriger mit einer körperlichen Fitness, die um 100 Mal besser war als meine, plötzlich im Schlaf sterben?
Sei vorsichtig, wenn du hier durchläufst.Es gehört zu meinem Leben, sind meine Geschichten…
